Memories Of A Broken Heart
by teddybaer
Summary: Jadelyn West, the princess of Scotland, is trapped behind the walls and the rules of royal life. Still, she falls in love with a servant, Beckett Oliver. Will their love break the walls, or will it cave in, leaving a broken heart?
1. Chapter 1

The year is 1450 and I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My maid, but also best friend Caterina was combing my silk, dark brown hair, while talking to me.

"The weather outside is wonderful. We should go outside, take a walk and make our own flower buckets" she said happily. I looked at her reflection in the mirror and nodded. Her smile, which she was constantly wearing on her face, brightened.

"Caterina?" I asked in a sad voice.

"Yes, Misses Jadelyn?" she answered, still on a good mood.

"When I get married, will you come with me to my new home?" I asked, fearing her answer.

"I don't know, if it is possible, Misses Jadelyn."

"You have to! I can't live anywhere without you." I pleaded.

"I'd follow you everywhere, if that is your desire." she answered, taking some of my strands and putting them over my chest.

"I really appreciate your solidarity" I smiled at her, just to get a smile in return. The door of my boudoir opened and my mother entered.

"What are you preparing yourself for, Jadelyn?" she asked curiously.

"Caterina and I wanted to promenade, mother." I answered, turning around to face her.

"Don't promenade too long. The prince of the Netherlands will arrive in the evening to take a look at his bride." As she said that, my face dropped.

"Mother, with due respect, I don't want to marry him" I tried to stay calm, but failed.

"Jadelyn, don't let your emotions overwhelm you. You are going to marry him. It is our advantage to have a good political relationship to the Netherlands. And for that you have to marry the prince."

"I want to decide on my own, who I am going to marry. I want to marry someone I truly love" I desperately shouted.

"Jadelyn West, pull yourself together and watch what you say. Caterina."

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Take Jadelyn outside. My daughter is bewildered and needs to find herself again" she said strictly.

"Yes, ma'am!" Caterina obeyed. I swallowed the tears that were building, stood up and followed Caterina.

We were walking around in my father's oversized beautiful garden, with every flower you can imagine. Everything was symmetric and looked wonderful.

"Are you feeling better, Misses Jadelyn?" Caterina asked concerned. I shrugged.

"Yes and no. I settled my mind, but I still don't want to marry him. I love-" I trailed off. Caterina nodded, knowing about all of my secrets. She is the most trustworthy person I have ever met. And I was glad that I got to know her. She gave me a push and I looked at her, confused. She pointed straightforward with her head. My eyes followed her gesture to find both of us looking at my father's servant, Beckett Oliver. He smiled at me, as he saw us. I blushed, looking away. Beckett was my secret love for over a year now.

"Caterina, let us go to the labyrinth, or somewhere else. Please" I whispered.

"Why?" she asked me, confused.

"Let's go" I said, pulling her by the hand. She followed me.

"Why didn't you talk to Beckett? I thought you love him?" she asked sadly, as we reached the labyrinth. We walked into it, knowing the way to the centre really well.

"Everyone can see us. They will gossip viciously about me and him and I am not able to afford something like that to happen, you understand?" I asked her quietly, as I made sure, that nobody was there. She nodded, but then a bright smile crossed her face.

"What happened now?" I asked confused.

"Ladies." A voice behind me said. And I recognized it immediately. I turned around slowly to face Beckett, who clearly followed us.

"Caterina, I think we-" I wanted to tell her that we should leave, but I saw her walking out of the labyrinth, turning around to wink at me. _She can't leave me alone with him._ I thought desperately.

"How are you feeling today, Misses Jadelyn?" he asked, trying to break the silence between us. I was embarrassed to talk to him alone.

"I'm feeling good, and how are you feeling?" I shyly asked in return.

"It pleases me, that you're feeling good." he said, ignoring my question, because he knew, that in a kingdom it didn't matter how a subordinate felt. I smiled a bit. He watched me carefully.

"Misses Jadelyn, am I making you feel bad? If it is so, I won't disturb you any longer. I apologize, for not noticing it before." he said, taking a bow, preparing to leave.

"NO!" I shouted. "No, I mean." I said catching myself. "You're not making me feel bad, I swear." he looks at me, still dissatisfied. I smiled at him and he relaxed.

"I hope you don't mind me to say this, but I have never seen the portrayal of an angel ever before." he said softly and took my hand to kiss the back of it. As his soft lips touched my hand, it sent shivers down my spine.

"Thank you" I whispered.

"Miss Jadelyn" he started, letting go of my hand. I whined on the inside.

"Yes?" I asked, eager to know what he wanted to say.

"Do you mind us to get to know each other better?" I shook my head. No. He smiled and leaned closer. I closed my eyes and his soft lips touched mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his hands on my waist, as we deepened the kiss. We were interrupted by someone gasping. We quickly let go of each other to see Caterina, who came back.

"It is you" I said quietening down. She smiled and looked from me to him and from him to me. I felt embarrassed.

"Your mother is looking for you, Misses Jadelyn. It is getting dark." Caterina said, I nodded.

"I have to go" I said towards Beckett. He smiled.

"Am I going to see you again?" he asked me, his voice filled with hope.

"Yes. Tomorrow. When you see me walking to the labyrinth, you can follow me. But do it unobtrusively." I commanded him. He looked after us, as we left the labyrinth.

Caterina and I entered our dining hall. There were more than two hundred people, sitting on their seats, waiting for the prince of the Netherlands to arrive. You could hear loud mumbling from everywhere. Every one was talking to someone. I took my seat next to my mother. Suddenly a, for me unknown, servant made us draw our attention to him, by pulling the bell.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the king of Scotland of high renown, his prestigious wife and his beautiful daughter, I feel honoured to announce the arrival of the honourably and only prince of the Netherlands, Sinjin Van Cleef."

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><p><strong>AN: Hey guys, new story, new luck. I came up with this idea a long while ago. Haven't had the time and didn't feel the want to write it though, until now. So I've started. And I will give away, that I try to involve every other character. Since this is a BADE- story, it will focus on their relationship and on the Sade relationship. Other pairings will be hinted andor in later chapters. I hope you all like this 'Middle Age' story prologue. I try hard to keep all in character, hope I won't fail.**

**Don't forget to review and tell me, whether you liked it, or not!**

**~teddybaer**


	2. Chapter 2

I felt my stomach twist, because of the excitement. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to marry him, but there is no other solution for it, so I have to deal with it, because he will be my husband until someone of us will die. I leaned a little bit forward, to have a better view on him. After the whole trumpet introduction, which was well known, a really thin, lanky looking young man walked in, with his head held high. The foreign servant took a bow and gestured him to enter. My mouth dropped, as I realized that he was the prince of the Netherlands. My soon-to-be-husband.

"Holy Father in heaven, this cannot be true. Please tell me this is a nightmare and I am going to wake up soon." I muttered to myself, still my mother heard every word.

"Jadelyn, control your temper and treat him with respect. He seems like a kind young man." my mother hissed. I inhaled deeply. Is it possible? Does the world want to punish me? What did I do wrong? I could have gotten Beckett, but I have to get him, Sinjin Van Cleef. The thought of us performing our marital duties makes me shudder.

He came closer and my mother told me to stand up. First my parents stood up and Prince Van Cleef took a bow in front of them. When he came to me, I took a bow and he took my hand, kissing the back of it. On the inside I was more than disgusted, I wanted to vomit, but on the outside, I shyly smiled. Then I remembered Beckett kissing my hand on the same way. My longing for him hasn't been bigger before.

We sat down again and he took a seat next to me. The next to hours went by slowly. Prince Van Cleef was eating like it was the first time he saw food, like he was a peasant. He ate noisily, he burped and he showed us, that he has no manners. Still, nobody dared to say a word. We just remained quietly and waited for him to finish. I can't believe that I have to bear him my whole life, from now on.

"Delicious." he finally said, finishing eating. I quietly sighed in relief. "I am going to marry you?" he asked me. I nodded. He looked down at me and then smiled. "Excellent" I smiled shyly. After having dinner, the men went to another room to play cards and to drink wine. I needed fresh air, so I took Caterina and went outside.

"Have you seen him?" I asked her, after I made clear that nobody could hear us.

"Seen who?" she asked confused. I looked at her in disbelief.

"The prince of royal blood." I acted enthusiastically.

"Oh, yes" she said giggling, putting a strand of her dyed red hair behind her ear.

"Why are you giggling?" I asked her.

"Have you seen his hair? It looks like a big sponge!" she answered, still giggling. I rolled my eyes.

"Caterina, this is not the major problem right now. I have to marry _him_!"

"I apologize, Misses Jadelyn. I got distracted by it."

"Apologize accepted. But tell me what I should do?" I asked desperately.

"This will probably not make you feel better, but you should get to know him. Maybe he is not as bad as you think" she said, patting my shoulder. I shrugged. Maybe she is right. We took a walk through the garden, which seemed scary at night, maybe because there was nobody. Suddenly I saw a person sitting on a bench. I recognized Beckett and walked over to him.

"Good evening, Beckett." I said, sitting down next to him. He looked up and smiled sadly.

"Good evening, Misses Jadelyn." he answered. Caterina stood next to me, seeing him all sad.

"Why are you so sad?" she asked concerned.

"It is nothing, really." he answered looking from her to me.

"Tell me…us" I pleaded, carefully laying my hand on his.

"Your father told me in the late afternoon, that I have to work somewhere else." he said, remembering the conversation between him and my father.

"Why would he say that?" Caterina asked sadly. I looked at her. This girl shows too many emotions sometimes.

"Where?" I asked carefully, leaving her question unanswered. He shrugged.

"I don't know. He also told me, that I have to leave tomorrow afternoon."

"Why so soon?" I asked, realizing, that I'll lose my love.

"Misses Jadelyn, if I would have an answer, you would be the first one I would tell. Unfortunately, I don't have one." he said, taking my head between his hands.

"Beckett…"

"Misses Jadelyn, will you promise me two things?" he asked me.

"Anything!" I whispered.

"Promise, you'll never forget me."

"I'll promise."

"And promise, that we'll see each other again. Promise it." he said desperately.

"I promise" I said, while tears were running down my cheeks. He pressed his lips against mine. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, before he let go of me and stood up. A single tear exited his eye. He wiped it away quickly and left us alone.

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><p><strong>AN: Beck will leave? This can't be true! Will he come back? ;) Find out, by reviewing.<strong>

**So, this is the first time of me writing something 'old' (well, you know what I mean), but I hope you'll still read and review.**

**Give me some comments, other characters, will, as I said before, appear in later chapters.**

**~teddybaer~**


	3. Chapter 3

"Jadelyn, dear. Come to me, we have to talk about important things, concerning your marriage" my father said, as I entered his cabinet the next day.

"Yes, father" I obeyed. I sat down on a bench, which was affectionately overlay with soft cushions and curtains, to make the people who sit down feel comfortable. My father took a seat next to me.

"Jadelyn, you have turned sixteen and it is not unusual for a girl in your age to get married. When you were 2 years old, the king of the Netherlands and I had some major conflicts. To get to the point, we made up a solution for our feud. Since he had a son in your age, a little big older of course, we decided to promise you two for each other. Fortunately, the time has come and I am glad to resolve our conflict with the Netherlands with your marriage."

"Father, it is nice of you telling me that, but mother has already told me." I answered slightly confused.

"I know, Jadelyn, I know. I plainly wanted to repeat it, in case you forgot." he said determined.

"Father, why would I forget it? I have to spend my life with him. That is nothing to forget quickly." I answered slightly irritated, but still respectfully.

"Jadelyn, your mother has told me about your sudden surges of emotion and I also realized your quick temper, which you, unfortunately, have since you were in the age of 6."

"Father, I don't understand…?" I was somehow feeling betrayed and deceived. I don't know, why I was feeling that way, but it disturbed me. My father sighed, preparing himself to explain.

"I will give you an advice, you have to take, no matter what. If you don't take it, our relationship with the Netherland will go bad." he began. I nodded, showing him, that he could continue. "Act nicely towards the prince. He might not be the portrayal of a real man, but still he has a lot of sway. Do whatever he wants you to do. Act like an obedient, reserved princess of the Netherlands, just like you got educated."

"Father, with due respect, I am a young woman, who has the rights to do whatever she wants. And I am not, I repeat it, I am not going to do things I don't want to do." I screamed, standing up. I was feeling mistreated.

"JADELYN, watch yourself!" he screamed back, in a strong voice, that made me wince.

"I apologize, father" I mumbled, ashamed of myself.

"You see, what I mean? Sit down, come on, sit down" he said, patting on the place next to him, where I was sitting seconds ago. I obeyed.

"Father, what I wanted to say is…"

"Jadelyn, you said what you wanted to say." he said with a stern voice. "As your father I want you to do the right thing. And you, as a woman, have to bow the strong male gender. Be a good wife, make a lot of children, preferential lads. And never, you hear me? Never let yourself be seduced by wrong things. You hear me?" he finished his lecture.

"Yes, father." I whispered

"You understand me?"

"Yes, father." I said loudly.

"You're allowed to leave now." I stood up, took a bow and turned around to leave.

"The wedding will be by next week. Prepare yourself for the wedding and for your procession to the Netherlands." he said. I closed my eyes, trying to digest everything that have happened and everything which will happen. I opened them again and turned around to face my father.

"Father, can I take Caterina with me?" I asked him, determined to take her.

"It is not necessary. They have better maids in the Netherlands." he said.

"I request you father. I want to have someone familiar around me. I would feel alone…"

"You have your husband."

"Father, we both know, he won't have much time for me and I need a maid, who already knows me."

"If that is what you want, Jadelyn." he finally gave in, I nodded.

"I thank you, father." I said, turning around to leave. I smiled. Caterina is coming with me.

"Misses Jadelyn, the prince is looking for you, he wants to spend some time with you" Caterina ran to me, as she spotted me.

"But I don't want to spend time with him." I answered coldly.

"He waited for a long time." Caterina added.

"He can wait until the cows come home." I said sarcastically.

"When will they come home?" Caterina asked. I looked at her in disbelief. Then I remembered the good news, I wanted to tell her.

"Caterina, you know what my father allowed?" I asked happily.

"How shall I know?" she asked confused. I ignored her question.

"You can come with me!"

"I can?" she asked happily, but she suddenly turned serious. "Where can I come with you?" she asked.

"You can come with me to the Netherlands" I said happily, as if it was a matter of course.

"Oh, yay" she shrieked, hugging me tightly. I hugged her back. We let go of each other.

"Misses Jadelyn, the prince is still waiting. Please don't make him angry." she pleaded. I knew she was right, so I followed her to the room, he was sitting in. Caterina knocked and opened the door, after he told us to come in.

I entered the room and Caterina left us alone. Prince Sinjin was sitting in an armchair, smiling at me. I sat down in another armchair next to him, after he kissed the back of my hand again.

"Good evening, beautiful lady." he said, looking down at me. I gulped. I didn't want this to happen, no.

"Good evening, prince." I said quietly, looking away. The last thing I wanted to do at this moment was to look him in the eyes. Of course, he wanted the total opposite. He lifted my chin with his hand and looked me deeply in the eyes.

"You have wonderful, blue eyes." he whispered loud enough for me to hear. I smelled his bad breath and I wanted to punch him in the face. Instead I didn't do anything.

"Thank you" I muttered, wanting to look away, but he was kind of forcing me to look in his eyes.

"Why are you so shy?" he asked grinning stupidly.

"I…-"

"Shhh" he interrupted me. I gulped again. I would give my live to spend these minutes with Beckett, but because it was afternoon, I knew he already left. I sighed. Suddenly prince Sinjin attacked my lips.

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><p><strong>AN: OMG! Sinjin kissed Jade! O.O What is going to happen next? How will she react? What about Beck? Find out by reviewing :) <strong>

**~teddybaer~**


	4. Chapter 4

I pushed him away with a lot of force, leaving him shocked.

"WHY DID YOU KISS ME?" I screamed, rubbing my lips violently, to get his taste off of me. He looked very angry, as he stood up.

"How dare you, you little witch?" he asked rhetorically and raised his hand to slap me. As he saw me wince, he let his arm drop and the room was filled with silence. I carefully looked up, to see if the danger was over. As I made clear it was, I straightened my gown and looked at him. He was looking at me angrily, but I still looked him in the eyes, showing him, that I am stronger than he thinks. Then he suddenly smiled, which made me raise an eyebrow.

"You have a quick temper as it seems" he began, turning around, walking towards the huge window. He looked out and didn't look at me, as he continued. "It won't please your father to hear, that his daughter attacked her fiancée." he finished.

"After he kissed me." I added angrily. He turned around and mustered me. His hair really looked like a sponge and his body was not even one kind of attractive. I felt his eyes burning on me.

"I suggest you to let a painter draw me, so you can look at me as long as you want" I said sarcastically. He walked towards me, his face inches away from me.

"Don't blow it with me" he said slowly. I scoffed. He suddenly grabbed my wrist hard.

"You're hurting me, stop it!" I wanted to say it commanding, but it came out as pleading.

"As I said," he let go of my wrist and I rubbed it gently, trying to make the pain vanish. "your father won't be pleased" he finished, walking towards the door. He turned around to face me. "The sooner he knows what happened here, the better he'll understand, that I can't marry you" he said, my eyes widened. My father would completely hate me. His arranged alliance with the Netherlands wouldn't exist anymore. I had to pull myself together. Prince Sinjin had his hand on the doorknob.

"Wait!" I shouted, causing him to turn around smiling. I knew, he knew that this was going to happen as he wanted. "I apologize for my behaviour. I was bewildered, because something like this isn't allowed to happen before marriage" I said, walking towards him.

"I understand" he said. "I'll see you then. At our _marriage_" he smiled and left the room. I was thinking about Beckett and where he was now. I missed him.

The marriage itself took place, almost a week after my dispute with Prince Sinjin, in the Netherlands. Luckily he didn't tell my father anything, so no one knew, except for Caterina, whom I told. I was wearing a dark red wedding gown made out of silk, imported from China. The whole wedding through, I was really nervous about the evening, our wedding night. I was thinking of ways to avoid it, but I failed. So it happened that we were in our bed room. I was standing near the bed, as Caterina undressed me, leaving on an almost transparent nightgown. When she finished, I sat down on the bed, waiting (hoping) for Prince Sinjin (not) to arrive. Then a few servants came in, preparing everything for our comfort. I gasped, as I saw Beckett. He looked at me, a weak smile on his lips. The corners of my mouth quirked, but I didn't smile. Why? Maybe, because there were five other persons in the room. They finished their job and left the room. Beckett did, as if he was straightening the counterpane, which was already straightened. I knew he wanted to talk to me.

"How are you?" he whispered. I nodded, showing him I was fine.

"I don't want to do this" I whispered desperately. He looked at me, a sad expression on his face. He didn't want me to do it either, but he knew that he couldn't change it, even if he wanted to.

"I know, but you have to." he whispered. "I thought I would never see you again, until I heard, that I have to work for the Prince of the Netherlands. I have never been happier before." he whispered smiling. I smiled, too.

"I missed you." he looked me deeply in the eyes.

"Now we have enough time for each ot-" he was interrupted by the prince, who entered the room.

"You finished?" he snapped, as he saw Beckett near me. He looked up and nodded.

"Yes, sir." he said and walked out. When he reached the doorframe, he turned around one last time and smiled sadly. 'You have to do it, dear' his eyes were telling me. I sighed, as he closed the door. Prince Sinjin and I lay down in the bed. He rolled himself above me and smiled, as he shoved his hard member inside of me. I screamed at the sharp pain and closed my eyes, waiting for him to finish.

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><p><strong>AN: OMG! I just realized that Sinjin gets to do everything he wishes to do with Jade in my story. Creepy much? Yes. I feel bad for Jade. She should be with Beck, not with Sinjin. Agree? Then review!<strong>

**~teddybaer~**


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, I woke up, remembering the last night. It felt like a nightmare, because every time he moved, it hurt. And I couldn't stop thinking of Beckett, while my husband was lying on top of me. I sighed and got up. Caterina entered the room and brought some clothes for me. I got dressed and looked at the bed and saw that the sleeping place of Sinjin was empty.

"Where is Prince Sinjin?" I asked Caterina curiously.

"He's having breakfast with some of his friends. He wanted you to sleep as long as you want. He is so caring, right?" she asked smiling. I mustered her.

"I don't care." I finally answered. She looked at me sadly.

"What is wrong, Miss Jadelyn? He seems quiet nice, in my opinion." she said in a quieter voice, than usual.

"No one asked you for your opinion." I snapped, but immediately regretted, what I said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked offended.

"I am all churned up inside. I would rather be with Beckett, not with Sinjin." I trailed off.

"I know what you mean, but think optimistically. Now you got to see Beckett again, because he works for you." she said cheering me up.

"You know, where he is right now?" I asked with hope in my voice. She nodded, smiling brightly. She bent forward. When her lips touched my ear, she whispered:

"He is in the garden, watering the flowers." I nodded and we made our way outside. We walked around the garden, looking out for him. When I saw him, I wanted to run to him and hug him, but then I stopped walking, too shocked what I saw. There was a young girl, probably at the same age as me, talking to him and touching his cheek in a flirtatious way. She was well dressed as well and he didn't seem to have a problem with her touching him like that. I felt betrayed. First, he tells me about his happiness to work for Prince Sinjin, so he could see me and have enough time for me, making me hope to fulfil our love for each other and then flirting with a trollop behind my back. I tensed and Caterina noticed that.

"Is everything all right, Misses Jadelyn?" she asked concerned.

"Sure, only thing is that Beckett is cheating on me with this girl. Whoever she is."

"Her name is Victoria. She is one of the two daughters of the count." Caterina explained. She was obviously proud of herself, because she knew the answer.

"I don't care who she is. I only care about Beckett. And he is cheating on me. I am Jade West. Princess Jade West! How dare he to do this." I mostly talked to myself. Caterina put her hand on my shoulder.

"He isn't. He loves you. I guess she likes him, too. But he won't take her over you, I'm sure." Caterina said comforting. Beckett seemed to read her mind as he suddenly took Victoria's hand and removed it from his cheek. He said something to her and then she left angrily. He continued watering the flowers, as Caterina pulled me towards him.

"Beckett!" she cheered. He looked up and smiled brightly.

"Morning, little Caterina, morning Misses Jadelyn." he took a bow after he said my name. I smiled a bit.

"So who was this Victoria girl?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He shrugged.

"Just a nice girl." he answered.

"A nice girl, who is in love with you" I sated irritated.

"Good for her. My heart belongs to another, really gorgeous girl." he said winking at me. I blushed. He was forgiven.

"You want to take a walk?" I asked him rhetorically, knowing that he would.

"I would love to. But not for so long. I still have a lot of work to do. And if I don't finish them, I'll get dismissed."

"I don't think so. It is more important to let the princess be content. Your tasks are subtle for now. Come on!" I said as we both started to walk. Caterina walked back to do something else. I turned around to look at our aristocratic estate, as I saw a shadow in one of the windows vanish. I didn't think much of it, so we walked on.

We were now promenading every day for two month. It was very nice to have him around and I felt content. We walked further from while to while and one day we discovered a place far enough from our estate, that no one could see us. That place became our daily gathering place to make out and to have some fun. We cuddled and were together. My love for him grew everyday a bit more and I could proudly say, that he felt the same.

"I wish we could walk away to be together. Just the two of us." I said, as we were lying there one day. He stroked my dark brown hair caressingly.

"That would be _perfect_." he answered.

"So why don't we do that?" I asked seriously, raising my head from his cheats to look at him. He looked at me sadly.

"It is impossible Jadelyn. We would be outlawed and everybody would search us to kill us. Would you want that?" he asked me, showing me the consequences. He was a person, who thought about the consequences of a situation, before doing what he wanted to do. If he thought it was to risky, he let it be. Just like now and I knew he wouldn't change his mind, mostly for my sake. I lowered my head again.

"I love you" I whispered sadly.

"I love you, too" he replied, stroking my head again.

It was late evening and we already got back. I was sitting in my bed, watching Sinjin as he undressed, to put on his nightgown. He lay down next to me and we fulfilled our marital duties, once again. Thank god, it didn't hurt anymore. After he finished, he rolled back at his place and looked at me.

"What are you doing, when I am away?" he suddenly asked. _I play husband and wife with Beckett. _I thought. But seriously, what shall I answer to that question? I cannot tell him the truth. He would rip off my head immediately.

"Not much. It depends. I promenade with Caterina, or I talk to some people on the court." I made up an excuse, but I could still feel his eyes piercing me.

"You mean this servant, Beckett?" he asked, awaiting my reaction. My heart stopped beating as he said his name. I got very nervous and I began to tremble slightly. I turned my head to look at him.

"Um…yes…among others." I answered nervously.

"You seem to like him a lot. You want to explain that to me?" he asked suspiciously.

"We are close to each other, because he was working for my father. That's all." I answered, finally catching myself.

"Do you love him?" he asked, absorbing every move I make, every twitch in my face. But I was good at hiding things and I was also good at lying. I looked him deeply in the eyes, so he would think I was telling the truth.

"No, of course not." I answered. A long awkward silence spread out across the room. I guessed he was thinking about something, so I waited until he talked again. And that happened after felt 20 minutes.

"Do you love _me_?" he finally asked.

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><p><strong>AN: Ooouh. Tricky question. Hehe. What will she answer? I'll tell you, if you review.<strong>

** To NoName: I thought it wouldn't be bad, if I write the last sentence weakened but sorry, won't happen again. **

**To Alyson: Well, I wanted to make sort of a describtive s** scene between them, but I just rated it T. So I'll just hint it. Or at least try to hint it.**

**Don't forget to review and make me happy.**

**~teddybaer~**


	6. Chapter 6

I looked at him, not sure what to answer. Shall I say yes? He would leave me alone if I would. But if I would say no, I would tell him the truth. Isn't it better that way? A short silence filled the room, as he waited and waited and waited. I couldn't answer. He sighed loudly.

"I guess…" I finally said "…I don't know…" I added "…maybe."

"It's all right. We are married for two month now and it's not a crime that you don't feel the same I feel for you yet." he smiled. "But I am optimistic and I can wait." he said, pulling me closer. I rested my head on his chest, as he began to stroke my hair, just like Beckett did. But when Sinjin was doing it, it felt wrong. It felt forced. I sighed.

"I apologize" I whispered.

"Everything will turn out right for us." he whispered back, kissing the top of my head. I closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep, so he would think I liked him. An hour later, after I made sure he fell asleep himself, I sneaked out to see Beckett. I have to admit though, that it was pretty late, but he told me to come, if it's save and that he would be awake.

I walked to the other side of our estate, a scarf around my shoulders, to protect me from the cold summer breeze. As I reached his room, I looked around if someone followed me or if someone spied on me. _Little did I know that someone really was spying on me._ The door opened ajar and I entered. I saw Beckett and smiled. He returned my smile.

"Did someone follow you?" he asked as he looked out, to check if someone was there.

"No, I don't think so." I answered. He closed the door and turned around, walking towards me. He gave me a small peck on my lips and sat down on his bed, patting besides him, gesturing me to sit down. I walked towards him, but immediately stopped, when I saw two people sitting on chairs. I was shocked. First I looked at Beckett, then I looked at them and again at Beckett.

"Who…who are they?" I asked, getting nervous. He stood up, laying his hands on my shoulders in a comforting way.

"Lighten up, would you?" he said. "They are my friends. I got to know them when I first arrived here." he finished, but when he noticed, that I still wasn't convinced he added "They are trustworthy." I nodded. I mustered them from head to toe. Then both of them stood up simultaneously. I took a step backwards, bumping into Beckett, who wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my head and whispered that everything is all right. Both of them took a bow.

"My name is André and I am one of the musicians on the court. It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Jadelyn." he said smiling. I nodded.

"My name is Robert and I am the best entertainer you ever get to see." he introduced himself.

"Of course. You would rather say the worst." a puppet said. I raised an eyebrow, while André and Beckett were laughing. Robert picked up the puppet and put his hand on the puppet's back.

"My name is Reginius and if you are bored of Beckett, you can always come to me…" he said in a flirtatious tone. I looked at him threateningly "…or not." he said gulping. I turned to Beckett and looked at him.

"I thought we were going to be alone." I said sadly. He smiled.

"They will leave now. They were waiting with me for you to come, so I wouldn't fall asleep." he explained.

"Are you tired?" I asked. He shook his head.

"As you entered I became wide awake." he said, kissing my forehead.

"I guess we will leave now." André said, winking. He and Robert turned to go.

"NOO, I want to stay and watch them!" Reginius objected. Robert put his hand over Reginius' mouth and looked at us in an apologetic way. They exited the room and we were finally alone.

"What a lunatic" I said, sitting down on Beckett's bed.

"You mean Robert?" he asked, sitting down next to me. I nodded.

"And his puppet." he laughed slightly. I let myself fall on his bed. He shored up with his elbow and bend down to kiss me on my lips. He pulled me closer and our kiss deepened. We undressed slowly as we broke apart.

"I love you, Jadelyn." he whispered, while kissing my neck.

"I love you, too." I whispered back. He was working his way down. As I closed my eyes, an apple tree appeared in front of me. A snake was wrapping itself around the tree, intensely looking at me.

'_Jadelyn, Jadelyn. Taste an apple from this delicious apple tree. Come closer, take a bite. You won't regret it.'_ I came closer. Although I knew it was wrong, it felt right and I took an apple. _'That's good, that's great, now take a bite from this luscious red apple.'_ I looked at it and recognized Beckett's face in that apple. I brought the apple to my mouth and took a bite. I cast up my eyes, as a moan escaped my lips. That night Beckett and I came closer than before. We were one person.

I opened the door to my and Sinjin's bedroom silently. I lay down next to him, trying to make as few movements as possible. I turned to the side of the bed, so I wouldn't face him and closed my eyes.

"Where have you been?" Sinjin mumbled sleepily. I pressed my eyes hard together.

"I was in the closet." I whispered.

"Mhhm." he said, while throwing his arm around my waist. I didn't move.

The next day was great. Beckett and I made our daily promenades and Prince Sinjin was in the woods hunting with some of his noble friends.

"Jadelyn, I wanted to say, that I will never forget this wonderful night we had yesterday." he said, as we reached our gathering place. I smiled and we both sat down.

"I won't forget it either." I said, laying my head on his lap. He looked down at me, suddenly turning serious.

"Did Prince Sinjin get suspicious of us?" he asked, I shrugged.

"I don't think so. He once asked me if I was in love with you. I said no and he believed me. It won't be that hard to keep it from him. And now let us talk about things more pleasant." I said, attacking his lips.

Later, I entered my bedroom, to see Sinjin sitting on our bed. It seemed like he was in deep thoughts.

"How was your hunting trip?" I asked, acting interested. He looked at me and smiled.

"We shot two rabbits and a wild boar." he said proudly. I smiled.

"Uhm, Sinjin?" I said.

"Yes?" he asked, standing up and walking towards me.

"I have an answer." I said, looking down at my feet.

"An answer? For what?" he asked confused.

"For your question." I said looking at him. But after noticing that he didn't understand I added "The one you asked me last night."

"You mean if you love me?" he asked remembering. "I told you I can wai-"

"I do." I interrupted him.

"What?" he asked raising both of his eyebrows.

"I love you, Sinjin" I said, looking him deeply in the eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Confession! Why did she do this? We'll find out in the next chapter. ;)<strong>

**So to clear some things up. When Jade said she was in the closet she meant she was on the toilet. Closet is an old-fashioned word for toilet. I don't know if you knew this (I didn't knew it), so I just pointed it out. Please don't feel offended or something like this if you already knew. **

**Reginius is a disgusting name. But it has the same meaning as Rex and I think the name Rex itself isn't really suitable for a story, which takes place in the 1400's.**

**So I've decided, that I'll make a smut one-shot of Bade, to describe the scene mentioned in the story more intensely. It will probably be up by tomorrow, but it's my first time writing something like that, so please be nice. Watch out! **

**So yeah, hope you all liked it and thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I really appreciate them :)**

**Don't forget to review!**

**~teddybaer~**


	7. Chapter 7

At first he looked surprised, but then his face brightened, as he leaned forward to kiss me. You lips met and we made out. Suddenly he put his tongue in my mouth and he moaned. We broke apart and he looked at me amorously. I smiled slightly.

"We will celebrate this today in the evening." he said "but before that I have to sign some petitions and tell my mother about this. She'll never believe me." he said, mumbling the last part mostly to himself. He exited the room and I sat down on our bed. I took my head between my hands and sighed loudly. Why was I so stupid to tell him that? Was this really the only way to keep him away from Beckett and me? Was it? Or should I just have told him the truth. But this won't be good for both of us. He will leave me, not having any heir to the throne and I will be a renegade, Beckett maybe killed. Why did I have to do this? Now all I get is to sleep with him once again, the worst torture. I will just close my eyes and pretend that he is Beckett. Yes, I'll pretend. I pretend to be in love with Sinjin, although I am not, although my heart belongs to someone else I am not allowed to be with. I lay down for a while, staring at the ceiling. A single tear exited my eye, but I whipped it away as soon as it ran down my temples. I sat up straight and jumped as I saw Caterina standing in the doorframe.

"Caterina, you terrified me!" I half shouted angrily. She smirked and walked towards me.

"Down the hall, there is a young lady. I think it is the sister of Victoria. She wants to talk to you." I winced as I heard Victoria's name.

"Why?" I asked, ignoring the fact, that it was her sister. Caterina shrugged.

"I can't tell you, but she seems upset." I raised an eyebrow and followed Caterina to the girl. There she was standing, talking furiously to her sister, Victoria, who tried her best to reassure her. As she saw me, she made her way up to me, followed by a worried Victoria.

"There you are, _princess_ Jadelyn. Would your busy self mind talking to me? " she hissed, emphasizing the word 'princess'. I shrugged and gestured her to enter a room.

"Miss Jadelyn, please don't listen to her, she has one of her mood swings." Victoria tried to explain, but I cut her off.

"Who allowed you to talk to me?" I snapped. She wasn't expecting me to snap at her. She was pretty shocked.

"I…I am…I apologize, Miss Jadelyn." she stuttered, her head down in guilt. She seemed nice, but the fact that she was hitting on Beckett was pushing me over the edge. I looked at her condescendingly, then turned around and entered the room. The girl who wanted to speak with me followed me. I turned around to face her.

"My name is Katrina" she said looking at me. "and I am the daughter of the count. Nice, right?" I shrugged. She was annoying me by now and she hasn't said two full sentences yet.

"I am aware of that." I said "So why do you want to talk to me?" she sighed.

"I just wanted to say, no, I just wanted to ask you something." she began, I raised an eyebrow.

"Take it away."

"Why…why is life so unequable?" she asked, coming closer. I raised an eyebrow. She noticed that I want her to continue. "See, I am wonderful. The portrayal of everything beautiful in this world." she started pointing at herself, to reinforce the effect. "And you…" she pointed her finger at me furiously "…are just a girl, who got the luck to be a princess, you out of everyone here. You don't appreciate it, right? You take it for granted. Living, eating. You get served and you just have to look good, what you can't do, because every time I am in a room with you, I outshine your royal self." she laughed hysterically "The only bad thing in your spoilt live is the ugly prince, who no one dares to look at, because their eyes will burn." I felt offended. Not just that she insulted me, but also because she insulted my husband. I know it sounds strange, but I felt the need to defend him. Now I know what Victoria meant with 'mood swings'. That would describe it perfectly. I walked towards Katrina and slapped her.

"How dare you to say something like that about me and my husband, the prince?" I asked furiously. She looked at me shocked. I opened the door and got out of the room.

"Caterina!" I shouted angrily.

"Yes, Miss Jadelyn?" she asked, standing beneath the door with Victoria. "Bring her down to the dungeons." I said, pointing in the room, in which Katrina was in. Caterina and Victoria gasped. Victoria came to me and laid her hand at my arm.

"Please, your highness, let her go. She isn't conscious." she begged, I just pushed her hand away.

"Don't ever dare to touch me!" I said. "Caterina, what are you waiting for?" I glared at her and she moved quickly to get Katrina out of the room. Victoria was about to cry.

"I request you, Miss Jadelyn." Victoria begged. I looked at her, then at Caterina.

"Tell the guard he can let her go by tomorrow morning." I said to Caterina. Victoria sighed in relief.

"Thank you, Miss Jadelyn. You do not know how much-" I interrupted her.

"Don't talk to me." I snapped and walked away.

In the evening Sinjin and I were about to 'celebrate our love' as he said. He was lying above me and moved. I closed my eyes as always and pretended him to be Beckett. I moaned and whispered quietly:

"Beckett."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whoops! Did he hear that? Next chapter and you'll know.<strong>

**It's fun to write this story and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. But it will end soon :( Maybe Beck and Jade will be together ;) *crossing fingers***

**Don't forget to review!**

**~teddybaer~**


	8. Chapter 8

As I noticed my mistake, it was already too late. I got nervous, as I waited for him to stop moving, but he continued, as if nothing has happened. Maybe he didn't hear me. Maybe. Well, yes it sounds plausible. He would have stopped if he heard it, right? Right? My nervousness started to vanish and I acted as if I came. When he finished, he was lying next to me. I placed my head on his shoulder, trying to make him feel loved. We fell asleep. Well, he did, but I didn't. I was too distracted thinking about consequences that could happen, if he really heard me saying another name than his, while fulfilling our marital duties.

The next day started as every other day. Gosh, this monotony was killing me. I got breakfast and met up with Caterina. But she didn't come alone. Next to her stood a pretty girl, with brunette, curly hair, who I recognized as Victoria. I scowled and pulled Caterina towards me, making it impossible for Victoria to hear what I wanted to ask Caterina.

"What is she doing here?" I hissed angrily, looking at Victoria, who returned my gaze. She smiled. _Wanton._ I thought, looking back at Caterina, waiting for her to response.

"I thought you two could be friends." she said guiltily. I raised an eyebrow.

"Friends?" I asked, to make sure I heard right. She nodded, I snickered. "Never." I said, turning dead serious. Caterina sighed.

"But we made flower necklaces and and…" she started, but couldn't finish, because of her sudden sadness. I hated it to see her like this, so I give in.

"We could spend time together, but she shouldn't get near me, be-" I said, but got interrupted by happy Caterina hugging me tightly. I hugged back, smiling a bit. So it happened that the three of us were taking a walk. We talked a lot about different things. Actually, Caterina was talking most of the time, but it was somehow relaxing to hear her voice. It made me forget all about the problems I had with Sinjin.

As we were walking around, we sometime met Beckett. I wanted to go to him and hug him, but I controlled myself in front of Victoria. I jumped a bit, as she pushed me to the side, to run to Beckett. She hugged him tightly. I winced, a strong wave of jealousy was running through me. My anger grew, as he hugged her back, but still not with such a force as she did. I turned around to go, as Beckett placed his hand on my shoulder, turning me around. I looked him deeply in the eyes and saw the love he had for me. The anger I had a few seconds ago vanished immediately. I start to wonder why it is so hard to stop loving him. I sighed and he smiled.

"How are you, Miss Jadelyn?" he asked loudly, covering that we had a relationship. I smirked.

"I am fine." I answered, as he pulled me a few meters away from Caterina and Victoria. "What is wrong?" I asked concerned, as he stopped pulling me. He looked at me, with a serious expression on his face.

"Jadelyn, I have a question and I want you to tell me honestly, whether you have an answer or not, do you approve?" he asked me, never stopping to meet my gaze. I nodded slowly, hesitant. My heart started to beat faster, but I couldn't say why. What question was I expecting? He wasn't asking me to run away with him, for sure. But what h#is he going to ask? I took a deep breath, waiting for him to continue. But he took a little break, looking, no staring at me, to see if I was really telling the truth.

"Do you know where Robert and André are?" he finally asked. I raised an eyebrow.

"Who?" I asked, not knowing who he meant. Suddenly I remembered who the two were. "You mean the two, who were in your room?" I asked, then shook my head. "No, I don't know where they are." he looked at me, still dissatisfied.

"Are you sure?" he asked, gripping my arms to pull me closer. "Are you really sure?" he sounded angry, mad, determined to find out the truth, but I felt irritated and cramped. I shoved his hands away from my arms.

"I told you I don't know where these lunatics are!" I half shouted angrily. His expression softened immediately.

"All right, I believe you. But they are no lunatics." he said.

"Whatever you think" I shrugged. "Why are you looking for them, anyway?" I asked, interested.

"I haven't seen today morning. And I _always_ see them in the mornings. Something must have happened to them." he said, true concern in his voice.

"You worry too much. Maybe they are ill or they are somewhere else." I said, trying to make him feel better. He shook his head.

"No. Not both of them. They would have told me when they would have gone somewhere else. And it is highly improbable that both are ill at the same time, also André has a very strong immune system." I raised an eyebrow.

"Beckett, you think too much. There is a plausible explanation for their absence.

"And you really don't know, maybe heard from someone where they could be? I mean you have a high status here and I was think-" I cut him off.

"I apologize for interrupting you" I started "but I really don't know where your friends are and no one has told me, where they could be. I am sorry." he nodded.

"I love you, Jadelyn." he said, preparing to go to work again. I smiled.

"I love you, too, Beckett. And I will keep my ears open." he nodded smiling and left. I went back to Victoria and Caterina, who were waiting for me. We walked back to our estate and we waved a goodbye to Victoria, who had something else to do. Caterina and I went to my dressing room and sat down on the couch.

"Victoria is super nice, isn't she?" Caterina asked, playing with her red hair.

"When she is not hitting on Beckett she is supportable." I said, taking some grapes out of a plate. I shared them with Caterina. Suddenly, she started chuckling. I looked at her, slightly curious about her sudden mood change, although I should already be used to it. "What is wrong? Why are you chuckling?" she looked at me and eventually rested her head on my shoulder.

"I met a nice guy." she said proudly. I smiled.

"You would like to tell me more about him?" I asked. She nodded eagerly.

"I would love to!" she cheered. "Well, his name is Robert." she started.

"Wait, does he has hair looking like he just woke up and a stupid puppet?" I asked her, she straightened up and looked at me in disbelief.

"You know him?" I nodded.

"He is one of Beckett's friends." I said, then remembering that he disappeared. I decided to ask Caterina whether she knows where he could be. "Caterina?" I asked, as she rested her head on my shoulder once again. "Do you know where Robert is?" she looked at me, her eyes looking really sad.

"Yes, but please don't interdict me not to meet him." I nodded. "You told me yesterday to bring Katrina to the dungeons, right?" I nodded. "I did, as you told me and when the guard was bringing her to cell, I looked around and saw him there in another cell. I talked to him and he said that he has been there for just a few hours and that he is afraid. I told him that everything is going to be okay. And then another guy, in the cell next to him told me that there is no hope anymore and he said something else." she finished. I was really excited by now and wanted to know what he said.

"What did he say else?" I asked eagerly.

"Who?" she asked confused.

"The guy next to Robert." I pressed her to answer quicker.

"You mean the one with the smooth skin?" she asked, still confused. I could really slap her right now. She noticed that I was in fury and asked again "André?"

"Yes André! Now tell me, what he said!" I spat out, she looked as if she was hurt. "Caterina, please tell me." I begged desperately. She smiled.

"He said something like 'Forbidden love will never win' "

"That's it?" I asked. She nodded. To sum it up: Robert and André are in the dungeons since yesterday evening. But why? Did they do something bad? Did they steal?

"Shall I tell you more about Robert?" she asked happily.

"Do you know why they are in the dungeons?" I asked back, ignoring her random question. She started to think, then shook her head.

"No, he just said that Bec-"

"Hello ladies." Sinjin said, as he entered the room. I could beat him up right now for interrupting her. Instead I remained quietly. Caterina stood up and took a bow and sat down again. "Jadelyn, I want to take you somewhere. You'll _love_ it" he said, reaching out his hand, so I could grab it.

"Where are we going?" I asked suspiciously.

"It is a surprise." he said, as I grabbed his hand. I followed him to the door and turned around once again to look at Caterina, who seemed to think about Robert again.

We got in the carriage and drove in the direction of the marketplace, where peasants were selling their fruits and vegetables, where merchants were selling different items, like paper and other usable things. We got out of the carriage and some guards brought us to a place with some kind of stage. There was an object in the middle of it, but it was covered up with a blanket. I didn't think much of it and we sat down on chairs, which were built high enough to look at the stage, without being interrupted by the heads of the crowd. I am talking about the crowd that was growing fast. I wondered why. Maybe it was something like a play for entertaining us. Sinjin jolted my thoughts.

"You already got a plan, what this is going to be?" he asked, hoping me to know.

"I honestly don't know. Are you going to tell me?" he laughed.

"No sweetheart. It wouldn't be a surprise then, would it?" I smiled awkwardly. Deep inside, I just wanted him to shut up, never call me sweetheart again. And I wanted to see Beckett again, very bad.

After what seemed like forever, a strong muscled man, with a canvas sack on his head, to hide his face, came on stage. He had two holes in the canvas sack so he could see everything. I raised an eyebrow. Was this part of the play? The man moved towards the hidden object and removed the blanket. The object was revealed, as the crowd began to cheer loudly. My eyes widened as I recognized what it was. A guillotine.

"Are we goint to watch people get punished with their dead?" I asked Sinjin, not believing what is about to happen.

"Yes. It is entertaining."

"To see people die?" I asked shocked.

"To see bad people die." he corrected me.

"This is vulgar." I said, my gaze meeting his.

"This is reality." he just answered and turned around to look at the stage again. I did the same and at exact this moment a general unrest started and soon I knew why. A vehicle with a transportable, small cell came to a deadlock. But it was far enough, so I couldn't see the people who are going to die, fortunately. I looked at the guillotine, with it's sharp blade, waiting, no begging to be used, to meet a neck, to feel the fresh flesh, to randomly ending another worthless live. I gulped, as the first person was dragged to the stage.

"Alexander Baker, convicted because of fraud." announced the executioner. Everyone in the crowd started to boo loudly, as the dragged the man, called Alexander, to the guillotine. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see it. I opened them again, after I heard a sharp noise, followed by cheers from the crowd. That was when the next person was dragged to stage. I couldn't believe _who_ it was.

"Beckett." I whispered in disbelief. As he was dragged to the middle of the stage, he never stopped looking me in the eyes. His expression: determination, strength. He knew what was going to happen to him. Unlike Alexander, he was still calm. I was breathing irregularly and I started to tremble.

"What's wrong?" Sinjin asked me innocently.

"Why is he here?" I breathed heavily..

"He got caught stealing and he was badmouthing us." he finally said.

"That's not true! He would never do that!" I shouted, defending him. He looked at me sternly.

"Jadelyn, he admitted it." Sinjin lied.

"Beckett isn't like this -"

"Beckett Oliver convicted because of robbery and treason." the executioner announced.

"Please stop this, Sinjin!" I begged "PLEASE!" I got really nervous, glancing from him to Beckett. Sinjin didn't answer. "SINJIN, PLEASE STOP THIS" I was shaking his arm violently. He smiled. A peaceful smile.

"Jadelyn. Bad people have to be convicted. They have to die."

"He didn't do anything. Have mercy!" I begged, close to tears. The seconds seemed to elapse like hours. Sinjin ignored me, looking at the stage.

"Now he gets what he deserves for trying to steal you away from me." he just said indifferent, without any glimpse of emotion.. I turned around to look at the stage again. I was shocked. He knew it. He knew it, knew it, knew it. All the times I tried to hide it from him, all the times I pretended he wouldn't notice. Those were the times where he already knew and where he started to plan this. To take him away from me, to take Beckett away from me. I looked at Beckett's eyes, the eyes I'll never get lost into again, the eyes that shared love, lust, tears, anger and happiness with me. He returned my gaze as he was dragged to the guillotine, his hands tied up on his back. He got laid down and his neck was placed on the lunette, and he was strapped on the board he was lying on. I tried not to look at him, tried to avoid him like I avoided Alexander, but I couldn't. This was the last time I was going to see him, the very last time. I _had_ to watch him die. He looked at me one last time, his lips forming an 'I love you'. I whispered an 'I love you' back, not caring that Sinjin heard me and he smiled. He smiled his gorgeous smile one last time, before the blade of the guillotine met his neck, feeling his flesh, enjoying the moment it was built for, ending his life. Forever. His chopped head fell to the floor, instead in the box it was supposed to fall in, because the executioner forgot it. His head fell to the floor, Beckett's face looking in my direction. His eyes wide open. He wasn't afraid to die. He didn't close his eyes. He faced his death. He knew from the very beginning, from the moment he kissed me, that he was going to die.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: BECK!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!WHY?<strong>

**Please don't hate me. I had to kill him. He was messing up the lovely life of Sade! Sinjin had to do what he had to do. (just kidding) He loves Jade…Sway can make people cruel. Poor Jade, no Beck anymore.:( It was really hard to even think about making Beck die, when I got the idea to the story and now he is really dead. At least peaceful... **

**Wow, this was really long! Sorry for that. Thank you for all the nice reviews. They make me smile.**

**Don't forget to review!**

**~teddybaer~ **


	9. Chapter 9

I felt numb. My live was fading. Slowly, so slowly. No value, no love, apathetic. I would rather have a meeting with the guillotine to be with Beckett again than to go back with Sinjin.

Sinjin. Yes, he is the only one I am going to be with. Forever. Loveless, monotone life. No Beckett, who can hold me, no Beckett, who can let me feel what _real_ love is. Never again. Love is overrated, cruel and still everybody reaches out, yearns, for it. Why? To be happy? To hold on something which will never last, something that someone will take away from you within a second? Is this love?

It took me a long while to realize that we were already on our way back to our estate. I looked out of the window, avoiding Sinjin's glances. He touched my hand lightly but I flinched. I could feel different emotions right now. They go from anger to sadness, from fury to despair. But all I felt in this silent moment was nothing. I felt empty, as if someone took my heart away, all the way with Beckett. All my emotions gone. I was withdrawn into myself.

Suddenly the carriage stopped. I looked outside to see that we already arrived at our estate. The estate, my cave. The walls that keep me, that hinder me, to be free. I could scream, shout for help, look for someone who could save me, but everyone would just ignore me, as if they didn't hear me, as if I didn't exist. Sinjin got out and opened the door for me. But I ignored him and knew I could ignore him forever. Because what he did to me and to Beckett wasn't a mistake that you can apologize for. I entered the huge door and suddenly all of my emotions came back, out of nothing. I began to tremble all over my body. Breathing got harder and harder and I began to run. I ran somewhere, they couldn't find me, somewhere they wouldn't dare to go, a place they just came in, when I got a new dress to admire it, my dressing room. I entered quickly, shut the door behind me and slid down. All my tears were coming out. The loss of Beckett was infinite. I screamed, I cried my heart out and I couldn't stop. I just couldn't. I realized he wouldn't return and that was my entire fault. A person, willing to love anybody, good-hearted and without any bad intentions, someone like him doesn't deserve to die at all. And just because I was egoistic enough to make him mine and to be with him, to be happy and to forget all of _my_ pains. Yes, all of my pains and not all of his pains. And I knew he had difficulties, although I never asked him about them, because _I didn't want to know_. I hate myself for hurting him so badly. Love is to abandon your own hopes and wishes to fulfil those of the one you love. I didn't do this. I am a bad person. And he was too good-hearted to realize that.

Suddenly I felt arms wrapping around me. I opened my eyes to see Victoria sitting next to me, while trying to comfort me. My expression turned pathetic again.

"He…he…is…is…dead…" I got out in between sobs. Sadness overcame me again, as I rested my head on her shoulder and began to cry even harder. It was certain. Beckett was dead and he will never return, never.

A few hours later, my cries ebbed away in sobs. I sighed loudly. Victoria was still sitting beside me. She never left. She stood up and helped me up. But I had to lean on her, because I was a little bit unsteady on my feet.

"I want to go to his…" I trailed off. But Victoria knew where I wanted to go, so she guided me to his room and opened the door to the dark, abandoned room. We both entered it and Victoria ignited some candles, so we could see better, although the sun was shining through the open door. I laid down on his bed, absorbing every scent he left on it. I closed my eyes to feel him. My hands slowly slid under his pillow in hope that he could have left a farewell letter. Unfortunately, there wasn't one. But wait what was that under the sheets? I got up quickly, threw his pillow on the floor and removed the sheets with a lot of force. There it laid, a letter from Beckett, well hidden under his sheets, so no one except for me would find it. I underestimated him. He knew me better than I thought. I picked up the letter and sat down on his messed up bed. Victoria sat down beside me and looked curiously.

"What is that?" she asked. I couldn't look at her, because I was fixated with this letter.

"From Beckett." I simply answered, before I opened it, to read what was inside.

_Beloved Jadelyn,_

_I do not know how to start this letter. But there are a lot of strange things happening lately. Not just that Robert and André disappeared out of nothing, but your husband is looking at me, no he is staring at me. And I can't shake off the feeling that he knows. He knows about us, Jadelyn. It is just an intuition, but we have to be careful. No matter what happens, I'll be there for you. It doesn't matter if I am here or somewhere else._

_Jadelyn, something is going to happen some time soon. And I don't think this will end well for one of us__, in this case for me. But no matter what will happen, I tell you that I would do everything I have done the same again and again. I love you and you love me. And someone like Sinjin won't tear us apart, literally. He can kill me, but he won't take the memories I have. Memories about us, about our love, our eternal love. Jadelyn, when you are reading this, I'll probably be already dead, but remember, that I'll always be there for you. I'll always be next to you, watching you and protecting you._

_Jadelyn West, beautiful princess of Scotland, I Beckett Oliver, insignificant servant, will always love you wholeheartedly._

_Never forget that_

_Your Beckett _

I smiled as tears were running down my cheeks. He knew it, he did. And instead of walking away, he preserved his dignity and stayed, faced his death. And I love him more and more. From minute to minute I noticed what a gorgeous man he really was. 'Forbidden love will never win' André had said and now I knew what he meant. But he couldn't be more wrong. Love is eternal, if you find the right one to share it with. And I know I found Beckett and that I'll always love him, even if this love was forbidden. Victoria read the letter and smiled.

"He really loved you." she whispered resigning. I nodded.

"He still does." I answered smiling, as Caterina entered the room. I remembered that our last conversation got interrupted by Sinjin, so I asked her, what she wanted to tell me.

"Caterina, you said that Andre said something, when you were down there in the dungeons." I started and she nodded.

"Yes, he said that Beckett shall flee, before they get him. I don't know, who he meant with 'they', though." I looked at her shocked.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked. My voice was really weak and I was exhausted, both physically and mentally.

"I wanted to tell you, but then Sinjin came." she started and I stood up, walking towards her. I knew that this warning wouldn't have helped at all. He would have stayed. I hugged her tightly.

"Promise me, you'll never leave me." I whispered. She wanted to answer, but I felt my stomach twist. I ran to the closet as fast as I could and vomited. Hello, breakfast.

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><p><strong>AN: OMG! I am so lazy. Instead of updating yesterday (I've already finished it, but was too tired to stay up for like 10 more minutes, but whatever), I updated today. Here we go. It is the second last chapter, which means that the next one will be the last one. Excited? review and you'll get it.<strong>

**Just found out, that we have to wait till late september/early october to get a new Victorious episode. Seriously? If it's true, then I'll have to stick to ff even more than I do now...**

**Thanks ohsnapitzJess for reviewing twice :) And for everyone else for reviewing. **

**Don't forget to review!**

**~teddybaer~**


	10. Chapter 10

Eight month later, I am lying in the bed, screaming from pain. Pain I've never experienced before. I am lying in our marital bed, the bed I start to detest, no hate, even more, after Sinjin let Beckett be killed.

Eight month ago, after reading the letter Beckett left behind for me, I threw up. I thought it was because everything was too much in that moment. My forced marriage, my unwanted and horrible wedding night, my liaison with Beckett, my jealousy towards Victoria, my first time with Beckett, and finally his death. Everything was too much, when considering that more than half of those experiences were negative. So I thought nothing of throwing up. It was just embodying how I felt. But when it happened again in the following days, I started to get panicky. Little did I want a child from the person who killed the love of my life. And I think I wouldn't be able to love that child, even though it's not responsible for the hatred I feel towards Sinjin. My personal doctor came to me and looked for the reason for my throwing ups. Then he said something after I got dressed again, something I didn't want to happen.

"_Congratulations, Miss Jadelyn. You're pregnant." _I remember, I managed to get out a smile, a fake smile. He told me that exactly one week after Beckett had died and my emotions were revolving all around him.

"Push!" the midwife commands. I let out a desperate moan. I contort my face and I begin to sweat, although that happens rarely.

"Make it stop." I beg, almost crying, because the sharp pain in my lower abdomen is tearing me apart.

"Just push a little bit further. I still can't see the head." she answers, trying to cheer me up. I feel a hand intertwine with mine. I imagine it to be Beckett smiling at me and holding my hand, while I give birth to his child. A smile crosses my face at this. I feel a sudden strength in me, but when another sharp pain begins, it vanishes. I cast up my eyes and see a certain red haired best friend sitting on the bed, holding my hand tightly. Unfortunately it wasn't Beckett, but fortunately it was Caterina. I smile at her.

"Now push!" the midwife commands again and I push, push very hard, but nothing happens.

"I don't want to anymore!" I sob. "It hurts too much." Caterina pulls me closer to her and hugs my head tightly.  
>"It's going to fine. But the baby wants to come out. So push again, once or twice and it will be over." a familiar voice says. I turn my head a little bit to see Victoria. I smile. Ever since she comforted me, we get along pretty well. We aren't best friends though.<p>

"Caterina, go get hot water in a big bowl. I think it will start soon." the midwife says to Caterina, who immediately stands up and runs out excitedly. "Jadelyn, this is going to hurt, but you have to go through it, understand?" she asks me, checking if I am able to cope with the pain. I nod slightly. A few minutes later, Caterina comes back, looking like she has been in a hurry, a big bowl with steaming hot water in her hands. She lays it down on the bed next to the midwife.

"Jadelyn, you have to breathe steadily and every time I tell you to push, you have to push." the older woman says in a hard an strict tone, which shows me, that she knows what she is doing. She says 'push' and I push. I feel stronger now, after remembering that Beckett is always watching me and helping me, although he is not next to me.

"Very good, I can see the head!" the woman in between my legs said. I try to breathe regularly, try to concentrate on getting this done. She commands to push again. I push, even harder than before. The sharp pain from earlier returns even stronger. I scream loudly in pain, as another scream drowns mine. I open my eyes to see the midwife holding a colourful thing in her hands. A baby. It is some sort of grey, covered with blood. I smile, as I realize it is my baby. _My baby._ Everyone in the room, Victoria, Caterina, the midwife and two other maids, are smiling and looking at the baby. They clean it and give it to me, after revealing that it is a boy. The baby boy, who was wrapped in sheets, is looking at me with his deep, dark brown eyes. I smile at first, but then frighten. Dark brown eyes? My heart begins to beat faster and every moment that pass I get more nervous. Dark brown? I look around, but every one was happy and smiling, that the royal dynasty got a new family member, to be exact a boy, an heir. They all turn around simultaneously, as Sinjin enters the room. They all take a bow and step backwards to leave him more space to approach me. I gulp. My live will end soon, figuratively. I glare at Sinjin, who looks very happy. A bright smile crosses his face and his blue eyes are shining brightly. Yes, blue eyes. Not brown. My eyes are also blue, so are those of my parents. I look at the baby again, the grey colour slowly vanished, as the dark skin tone becomes visible. Beckett's baby. Not Sinjin. No! Why? I was about to move on, to try to think less about him and then god gives me his baby. Not that I am not happy about that, somewhere deep inside, but I know Sinjin will mind a lot raising a child that isn't his and giving it the heritance, the throne. I look at Sinjin ruefully, as he sits down at the edge of the bed. He takes the baby from me, smiling happily. His expression turns into confusion and anger, as he realizes that this wasn't his child, that it was Beckett's child. I look at him, close to tears. He stands up with the baby. Confusion and anger are suddenly replaced by hatred, hatred towards Beckett and the child. I stop breathing, as I watch him making the next move. He goes to the midwife, who looks confused, because she, like everyone else in the room, doesn't know why he is so unhappy. He turns around to face me; the hatred in his eyes was slowly killing me, as he said to the midwife:

"Go and kill that…something." he commands, the midwife looks at him in shock. She then looks at the baby, realizes the dark skin tone and the brown eyes and suddenly knows why he commanded that. It wasn't his baby. The other maids, same as Victoria and Caterina notice that, too. They lower their heads, avoiding doing or saying anything.

"Prince, but it-" the midwife wants to object, because it's against morality to kill anybody, especially babies, but she was cut off by Sinjin. He looks at her in fury and she flinches, regretting that she said anything.

"Tell everyone outside, that she got a miscarriage." he hisses, after carelessly handing her the baby. He is about to leave, but turns around again. "If anyone of you tells anyone else about the incident, or better: accident, I will throw you in the dungeons and torture you, until you regret that you spread that out, understood?" Everyone nods terrified. "You know what?" Sinjin asks the midwife, she shakes her head hesitantly. "I want you to kill the baby right now, not that you get the dumb idea of rescuing it, by handing it to another family." he finishes.

"But…" she trails off, clearly shocked.

"Human scum has to be disposed." he says, taking the baby from her hands roughly.

"My baby." I scream from the inside, but it came out as a weak whisper.

"My darling, everything is going to be all right. We will get new babies, better babies. And there will be no one, who will get between us." he said reassuring towards me. A single tear was running down my cheek, turning into a loud sob.

"My baby." I whisper again, but he already covers the baby's respiratory tracts with his hand. The baby moves a bit, turning it's head, trying to get fresh air, but it can't. A few moments later, it didn't move anymore. Sinjin hands the baby the midwife again and leaves the room. She still looks shocked, but manages to cover the baby with the sheets it was wrapped in. She also left the room and I begin to cry loudly. Caterina comes to me and hugs me tightly, but I push her away. I want to be alone, like I am supposed to stay alone. Without anyone than a 'loving' husband who would do anything to keep dangers like Beckett away from me. Everyone leaves the room and I press my face against my pillow.

"_I hope you don't mind me to say this, but I have never seen the portrayal of an angel ever before." ~ Beckett_

"_Promise, you'll never forget me." ~ Beckett_

"_And never, you hear me? Never let yourself be seduced by wrong things. You hear me?" ~ Father_

"_Why are you so shy?" ~ Sinjin_

"_I thought I would never see you again, until I heard, that I have to work for the Prince of the Netherlands. I have never been happier before." ~ Beckett_

"_I wish we could walk away to be together. Just the two of us." ~ Me_

"_That would be perfect." ~ Beckett_

"_They are trustworthy."~ Beckett about Robert and André_

"_I love you, Sinjin" ~ Me_

"_Beckett." ~ Me _

"_Do you know where Robert and André are?" ~ Beckett_

"_Beckett Oliver convicted because of robbery and treason." ~ Executioner _

"_Jadelyn West, beautiful princess of Scotland, I Beckett Oliver, insignificant servant, will always love you wholeheartedly." ~ Beckett in his farewell letter_

"_Forbidden love will never win" ~ André_

Maybe André was right. 8 months ago, I was convinced that he was wrong, convinced that our love won, despite the fact, that Beckett died, but that our love is still in us. I don't know why I was so dumb, dumb and naïve to think that Beckett and I would have reached our goal of being together. It hadn't just worked out. He was just a simple servant and I am a princess. Those are two different social ranks, in which the people are forbidden to love or marry. Just the own social rank. Sinjin is in my rank, so we are supposed to be, meant to be. This is how it works, how everything works. And that's why Beckett will be just a memory of my broken heart.

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><p><strong>AN: THE END! Wow, that made me really sad. No happy ending...But well, something different, right? I couldn't really think of a happy ending, when I first got the idea for this story and that's how it stayed. The idea of Jade getting pregnant from Beck was already in my head, and then Alyson reviewed, wanting me to get Jade pregnant with Beck's child and I thought: Great minds think alike (No, I just thought, that I thought the exact same thing, but whatever) ;) Well, hoped you guys liked it though. <strong>

**To just saying: I laughed when I read your review, because there was such an irony for me in it. I was researching for this story, like I've never researched for a story before. Like: Can you do this in the middle ages? Did this already exist? And stuff like that, unfortunately I forgot to look up, when the guillotine was invented. Sorry for that, but to bluff it out, there were appliances similar to the guillotine earlier. Hehe.**

**Okay, here comes my speech: Thank you very much to all who read, reviewed, faved, alerted and enjoyed this story. It was so much fun to write it (except for the sad parts :( ) Thanks for all the nice reviews from you, I really really appreciated them. And I hope you will still be reading stories I'll update. So one last time for this story:**

**Don't forget to review!**

**~teddybaer~**


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